Today ended up being a fun day, which for girl/girl porn is turning into a novelty. Fuck, just mainstream porn if I am speaking honestly. Mainstream porn is turning into a springing board for content creators who are fame seeking or financially driven, and have forgotten the requirement of liking sex. Enjoying the work isn’t necessary, and Heather Berg brings that idea into consideration in her book “Porn Work” when she discusses that we don’t expect Doctors to enjoy their work, or cubicle workers to either; but for me as a performer it gets exhausting and weird. I don’t blame people for not finding mainstream porn so alluring, the data driven content is just weird and has lost a lot of its sexy. Directors and producers don’t care about the product because it is being dictated to them, down to the algorithmically chosen performers, data driven wardrobe choices, etc. A lot of data which is pulled from PornHub, the very tube site that plummeted porn into the dark ages. I appreciate shooting for the people who permit me as an “enigmatic” performer that isn’t easily categorized by the misogynistic system of agism, sexism, and simplistic towards sexuality, almost completely overlooking female sexuality. There are quite a few gems in porn just trying to get by in this caustic world filled with piracy, censorship, and noise. They make it tolerable. NOW, I face my due diligence of performing, taking care of my responsibility to have a corporation, my increasing cost in testing, and my general upkeep, more companies are on a roll of doing 2-3 week payroll when I can be at home shooting what I want, for people that I have a vested interest in entertaining and limiting my risk in the ever increasing risk of the ever revolving door of idiots who are unaware the protocol of testing and sexual wellness that we all have a responsibility for within this performer pool. I’m tired. My website is a work in progress, and hopefully some user experience will be fixed, but I’m hoping to just make this my main focus as the outside aspects are just becoming liabilities. I have finally put customs back on the menu, and I will have to rip the flopping financial bandaid that is mainstream porn off soon. I could legit use your help in pulling myself out of the dependence from studio porn and creating more things that we all enjoy and incubate something of a more sincere porn. Please LMK if there is anything you are seeking and I am not currently offering 🙏 I am back on sextpanther for sexting - it’s easier to manage with my adhd than the website refreshing https://www.sextpanther.com/jessica-ryan . I am soon to be taking on an ambassadorship for a camming company cherry.tv. Time to pack up for two days of shooting in Vegas.

Happy New Year ! I’m not a big New Year’s resolution setter, as I set goals for myself every week, but I find it to be a beautiful reminder to plant sparkley seeds for a glowing future 🥂✨ I’m so happy to be ushering the new year in with my own website! My motivation to connect with my beloved fans seriously diminished as I was stuck platforms that don’t care. When I was presented with this opportunity, I couldn’t help but lunge at it 💕 If you want to get ultra nerdy on the concepts of autonomous motivation I highly recommend it! Screw the status quo. I want my sexy exchanges to not be mediated by capitalist idiots (those who only see profit and no benefit in caring for the people bringing the money). There will be some growing pains, but to not put money in their pockets is so worth it. I love you! I wish you a sexy, and prosperous year to come !

To say that I pushed myself hard to pull AVN and X3 off would be an understatement. Determined to get my website together before a giant social feature I did all that I could and then some. Butting heads with the denial of being an idealist and how I’d like the world to be versus how it is, some serious social output for an introvert, personal life stuff, and wanting to do everything myself, I found myself depleted. Having gotten into the routine of pushing past discomfort and doing everything perfectly without taking a moment to breathe, is but of course a recipe for burn out. Hitting that emergency pause button to tend to my personal needs after neglecting them for months, I can feel my pulse coming back. There are times to push yourself, and then there are times that you need to reset. I got stuck in pushing myself, making me an ineffective human. Wrapping up what I’d call my “existential analysis” that has led me back down my more creative path, I’m excited to say I have a lot that is currently being edited. In true fashion of running with ideas that I have with a shoe string budget as I’m learning everything in production, I’m leaning in with the camp and fortunate to have skilled friends who can help me when they can create something more cinematic. Things will be hot, they will be goofy, they will be conceptual, and applying an artistic twist to jerk off material has its uniqueness. This coming week I’ll be bringing things back with the cinematic art that collaborations with Sheseducedme.com are with my dear friend Angel Dark. I need to figure out how to make the ease of accessibility of OF and the ease of VOD access, blogging, etc, are under my own control. Having direct access to my fans in this unstable environment we exist in is the penultimate, so how to incentivize and build a symbiosis are important. I’m excited to be on the upswing of renewal and I’m looking forward to more creating 💕 XoXo Jess

Hey you guys 💕 I’m having to dig in as I don’t have a day off until the 4th.

I’m struggling with some serious bittersweetness. On one hand I’m madly in love with Reno, but on the other, it’s difficult because I make money shooting with others. Queue the possessiveness (it’s mutual). It’s so cliche but we are only human and emotions aren’t logical.

If I had my choice we would be exclusive. I honestly didn’t think I had a monogamous bone in my body until we started dating.

My career is peaking again and what I do now carries me through retirement. I’m a “working class performer”. While I build my side hustles up again after taking a 4 year hiatus, shooting with other people is how I pay my rent. I’m establishing my website so this can continue being lucrative past my retirement.

Ive not built the metaphorical house my life resides in to be monogamous

For many this is an over share as an outsider peering into the industry lacks the nuance and complexity. Many would triumph that they’d be all in, but in reality it’s not that easy, even for the most stoic. Please spare me.

Logically monogamy doesn’t just happen in my line of work (not without some serious damage in the process and I have to be financially driven).

Despite all of the puzzle pieces (feature dancing, camming, etc) I’ve been laying down to lead us there, it might just be too little too late.

Actively choosing to be led by my mind and not my heart hurts to say the very least. I wish he could compartmentalize my work being separate. I can only control me 🤷‍♀️. TBD

The mere idea of “not sharing” rubs me wrong but also speaks to my upbringing. (We often are dictated by our social programming.)

Reno and I wouldn’t have met each other had it not been for porn, but it may very well be the thing that keeps us separate as this is my career and this is what pays my bills, and yes, I enjoy most of it.

Tomorrow’s release means a lot to me. It may very well be the peak of our relationship.

I have no idea what lies ahead (do we ever really?). Please excuse me as I bury myself in my work while this all processes 💕